Top 10 greatest rap lies

• Posted on October 21, 2013October 21, 2013
• by Nana Kwesi Coomson
• Comment

“Say I never struggled, wasn’t hungry, yeah, I doubt it, n***a” – Drake, “Started From The Bottom”

The ovary-soothing rapper who played “Jimmy” on “Degrassi” while living in a wealthy Toronto area with his divorced mother was “struggling?” THAT’S starting from the bottom?! …of the upper class? Yes, but thee actual bottom…of life? HELL no.

“I pray to God I look my killer in his eyes” – Rick Ross, “I’m A Boss”

The same fable-spewing actor/rapper who canceled an entire tour because of threats and hired a small army for 24-hour protection wants to look his killer in the eyes? If anything, that’s the LAST thing the ink-scribbled man-boob model wants to do.

“Get me on the court and I’m trouble/Last week messed around and got a triple double” – Ice Cube, “It Was A Good Day”

Cube had 10 points, 10 assists and 10 rebounds in a random pick-up game to 11 while wearing boots and jeans on a sunny Cali afternoon? You do the math, because there’s no way he had time to play to 21 with THAT to-do list.

Chief Keef admits Chiraq street tales are “bull stuff”

During a recent probation hearing, the filth-coated moon cricket admitted that his lyrics were “bull stuff” while begging the judge to spare him from Juvie (where they’d actually force him to wash). Bang Bang? Man down? All “bull stuff.”

50 Cent bets solo career that he outsells Kanye West

In August 2007, 50 said this: “If Kanye West sells more records than 50 Cent on September 11, I’ll no longer write music. I’ll write music and work with my other artists, but I won’t put out any more solo albums”

….then released “Before I Self Destruct” on November 9, 2009. Rappers be lyin.

“Lost 92 bricks had to fall back” – Jay-Z, “Never Change”

Hovvie Hov lost millions worth of dope and didn’t lose any fingers, Roc members or Blue Ivy as payment? 99 problems and losing 92 bricks was never one? Hov needs a million and one more people.

Half Blood/Half Crip: The Lil Wayne Story

Weezy F. Got A Lot of Babies is a walking identity crisis who alternates between favorite sports teams, condom-allergic slores and gangs like a true fad-chasing weirdo. Claimed by neither gang, he’s only a blood in his mind (and the studio).

“Young done everything in the A but fawk Chilli” – Jeezy, (Drake) “Unforgettable”

Everything BUT smash the only member of TLC who could sing (kinda)? EVERYTHING…in ATL–Black Hollywood–where glittery dudes (Miss Lawrence) rock Clifford the Big Red Dog-colored lipstick? Impossible.

“I’m gonna get you sucka like Damon Wayans…” – Keith Murray, (Def Squad) “Full Cooperation”

Before Kanye confused Omar Epps with Mekhi Phifer on the “I Don’t Like (Remix),” Keith Murray got his Wayans confused on Def Squad’s biggest record. All Jacksons, Wayans and Winans look the same, we know.

“THERE’S ONLY FIVE YEARS LEFT!!!!!!!!” – Busta Rhymes, “Everything Remains Raw”

Busta screamed this over several records in ’96 until he hypnotized you into believing it. We’re sure there was spit and random dreads everywhere.

-Bossip