Top 10: Ways to be the man women want

• Posted on October 28, 2013October 28, 2013
• by Nana Kwesi Coomson
• Comment

Women are excellent at figuring out if a guy is a “Man’s Man,” or if he’s just pretending to be one. The fact is that most guys have some growing up to do. If you want to be the kind of guy that women are naturally attracted to — no flowers, gifts or dinners required — then you need to let your “inner boy” die and mature into the masculine man you were born to be. Women will LOVE you for it. Here are my top 10 ways to be the MAN women want:

Number 10

Learn to attract women by just being yourself

Many men feel an invisible barrier to becoming a man… and that barrier is magnified by the inability to attract women by just being yourself. The fact is, many of us have a “dark cloud” that follows us everywhere when we don’t have that special something that makes women want to be with us — “for no reason at all, just because they enjoy being around you.” If a man is actually a boy on the inside, then he not only can’t see the path to fix the problem, but he also doesn’t even know that the path exists. But there IS a path — believe me. Keep reading…

Number 9

Get “unstuck” and grow up

I believe that most of the people we refer to as “men” today are only called that because of their age and size; it has nothing to do with the deeper meaning of the word “man.” What happens when a man reaches a certain age, but doesn’t mature past a certain point in life? Or worse, what if some vital part of the maturation process that’s usually present in the external world isn’t there at a critical point in a man’s development… so that he winds up stuck at a certain psychological or emotional point? This is the problem most of us guys face: We were never shown the way to manhood, and now we have to figure it out for ourselves.

Number 8

It’s OK to be a man

In my original book Double Your Dating, I wrote that many men have learned to be unconsciously ashamed of their desires and natural drives — and to repress or even hate them. When you try to fight your own nature, it will come back to bite you in the ass later, in a million ways. And when it comes back, it won’t be a simple drive to screw a woman’s brains out; it will be a complex web of neurotic thoughts, feelings and patterns that are very difficult to unwire. You must accept yourself, embrace the fact that you’re a man and have a man’s nature, then learn to observe all that happens — from sexual impulses to killer instincts — and harness the power from all of it. This is among the most important ways to be the man women want.

Number 7

Never follow the woman

Men often try to follow a woman who doesn’t want to lead, and when she doesn’t lead, the man tries to convince her to lead with questions and body language that seeks approval. She leads, he follows — in fact, she isn’t even leading, but he tries to follow. This is a huge mistake. Instead, step up, be a man and LEAD. Pick a course and stay on it — even though she is all over the map. Let her reorient her body, behavior and moods to yours. Don’t backpedal, change, explain yourself, or ever try to get her to lead. She may resist at first, but she’ll love you for it in the end.

Number 6

Take personal responsibility

Take personal responsibility for yourself, your thoughts and your situation. Learn to see how the choices you’ve made have led you to where you are. Refuse to be a victim — and refuse to give anyone the power to take your joy from you. Women find this type of self-responsible guy very attractive.

Number 5

Stop giving away your power

Most men give away their power to women to get approval. The problem is that this is not one of the ways to be the man women want. That’s why those few men who choose to keep their power are so powerfully attractive to women. What’s the lesson here? Never give away your powerto get on a woman’s “good side.” If feels like it should work, but it NEVER does.

Number 4

“Man up” about your insecurities

Instead of hiding the things that you’re insecure about, feature them until you’re over them. How? Practice making cocky jokes about them when you first meet a woman and are flirting. Say something like, “This is never going to work out; you’re not good at arguing and I overcompensate for being short by acting arrogant… so we’d always argue, and I’d always win.”

Number 3

Stop needing a woman to need you

Many men feel “left out” if a woman wants to do something alone or with friends other than him. Get over the automatic-response feeling of jealousy, loss or sadness if she’s looking forward to enjoying doing something without you. Cultivate your ability to want to do things withouther… and truly enjoy them. These are especially important when it comes to women who are new in your life. It’s mature to allow others to live their lives and enjoy experiences without you and without you feeling that you’re losing something. The other side of this coin is to allow yourself to live your life and enjoy your own experiences — without needing others to validate your enjoyment. Get a life man! And experience this as one of the best ways to be the man women want.

Number 2

Give up “girly man” behavior

Becoming a “Man’s Man” means giving up a lot of things that most men hold on to. It means giving up throwing emotional tantrums to get attention. It means giving up correcting people because you need to feel important. It means no longer disagreeing with people to show your superiority or being a “know it all” so people will give you approval. It means you must stop saying and doing things to win attention and approval, instead of coming from a place of wanting to add value and genuinely help a situation. Give up these immature patterns that most guys get sucked into, and you’ll be well on your way to becoming the type of man who naturally attracts women.

Number 1

Constantly grow yourself to get an unfair advantage

Becoming the type of masculine, complete man that women are uncontrollably attracted to is a process. As soon as you think you’ve arrived, you see there’s another higher level on the horizon. Sadly, most guys never get started on this journey to true adulthood. They remain little boys trapped inside a man’s body. But if you want to be a man who has a continual stream of women in his life — or one high-quality woman that you can keep for as long as you like — then commit, right now, to do whatever it takes to grow yourself into the man you were born to become.

-askmen