Ever had a woman find you attractive and have absolutely no idea why? Have you pondered the mysteries of what, exactly, women want in a man? We’ve saved you hundreds of hours of research and embarrassing questions by going straight to the source.
Here are 10 qualities women find irresistible
10. Dancing
Remember when you were in secondary school and you begrudgingly found yourself at unfathomably awkward school ‘dances’? Well I remember those dances. And I remember the guys who had a laugh about the slow dancing but who did it anyway way more favourably than the guys who stood there with arms at their sides, looking around from the sidelines. Reddit user GoodGirlsDont writes about what attracts her to a man: “Even if he can’t dance well, if he dances confidently and has fun with it.” So even if you’re unsure of your moves or if you’re nervous to put yourself out there, if you’re willing to try it’s always attractive to the women watching.
Even if you’re the kind of guy who isn’t macho, doesn’t play sport (or even like sport…), isn’t in a band and doesn’t have a swollen bank account, you can, and should, still be confident. All you need is to like yourself, make decisions that help you sleep at night (women can sense immediately if you’re uncomfortable in your own skin), have your own hobbies (we don’t want you latching onto us) and a few good friends (having no friends is just weird). If you’re witty it’s only more attractive, as it’s a sure sign of intelligence.
Reddit user voidshame writes: “Quick wit & good imagination are a deadly combo for me. Add in some confidence and a little bit of narcissism — I’m sold.” So stand up for yourself, for others, and for what you believe is right. Don’t talk down to people to make yourself feel better, call a woman when you’re interested in her and, more importantly, call her when you say you will.
Reddit user take_from_me_my_lace writes that what makes her fall in like with a guy is “When [he] has mastered the non-creepy bear hug.” From an evolutionary standpoint, this makes total sense. Every woman wants to feel safe and secure with a guy she’s dating or in her relationship — and hugs are an easy way to trigger an immediate feeling of security. Even if you’re just friends, a burly bear hug subconsciously reminds us that you’re bigger and stronger — and have the upper hand when it comes to the ability to protect. It’s a hard job, but somebody’s gotta do it.
While not exactly rocket science, studies have shown that thoughtful people make better spouses. So if you want to be the one she wants to settle down with, this quality cannot be emphasised enough. Man-friends: we women melt at tiny and seemingly insignificant gestures that will bring you a world of goodness — because for us, it really is the little things that mean the most.
Reddit user luv_dirk writes that the one thing that makes her melt is thoughtfulness: “For example [when a guy says], ‘I’m learning some vegetarian recipes so I can cook more for you,’ or ‘I invited your friend to hang out with us because you haven’t been able to see much of her lately.’ Totally gets me when a guy is paying that much attention to what is going on in my life.”
I know, I know. You’re thinking, “Really? So you want me to tell you when that dress doesn’t actually suit you or that we think your dad can really quite difficult sometimes?” Not at all. Honesty does not mean having no filter or saying everything on your mind. What it is about is being open with us and trying to include us in your life rather than keeping us at arms’ length because you think you have to be a certain way and only say what we want to hear. Tell us where you are going with your friends, talk to us about your hopes and goals, and give us honest answers when we ask a question.
Reddit user Molecular_Machine writes: “Honest critique. If he’s man enough to critique what he doesn’t like without being a jerk about it, instant ladyboner. He’s not only showing that he’s comfortable enough around me to speak his mind, he’s also telling me that he’ll be honest in any situation.”
It’s no secret that a lot of women love animals. So if you go out of your way to act kind towards animals, it will not only melt our animal-loving hearts, but it also suggests you’re a kind and loving kind of guy. A guy we’d want in our lives. Reddit user onehelluvausername writes: “It won’t benefit him financially, secure that promotion he’s been wanting, and he won’t likely be awarded a medal, but [going out of his way to be kind to animals] shows that he’s willing to be compassionate even if he doesn’t stand to gain anything from it.” Guess it’s time to adopt that stray mouse that’s been eating all your cheese…
Sure, style is subjective. But we can reasonably say that women are more attracted to men who obviously physically take care of themselves as compared to men who dress like slobs because they put no effort into their appearance. So there’s no need to dress like David Beckham on a daily basis — just brush your teeth and comb your hair and put on a clean shirt in the morning. At the most base level, that’s style enough for most women. Reddit user fastescape writes: “There’s just something about a nicely dressed man that says, ‘Hey, I take care of myself.’ Slobs aren’t exactly sexy.” She clarifies what she means by nicely dressed and a slob, in case you weren’t sure.
Sorry to repeat what you already know, but humour makes her heart go ‘sploosh’. Make her laugh, and you’re sure to win her over. Reddit user terriblecrayons (who obviously has a tremendous sense of humour) writes: “If you can make me laugh really hard. If we can stay up until sunrise talking. If you’re awkwardly charming. Sploosh.” Chances are, if you’ve got her talking to you until sunrise, you’re in, big time.
If you needed more convincing of the humour thing, though, here’s the science behind why humour works. Get to it.
It’s not only you who lights up at being the funniest guy in the room. Everyone responds positively to their sense of humour being appreciated — and two people who find the same things funny are bound to bond. Reddit user hayfaceyes writes: “If he genuinely thinks that something I said was funny. Like his eyes light up and he gets a big grin. I love it!” We all feel closer to the people who appreciate us. Don’t fake laughter at our jokes, though, just to get us to like you — that’d just set you up for a really creepy moment down the road.
It’s no secret that women are drawn to men with passion in their lives. Even if it’s not a passion that you both share, the ability to care profoundly about something means that you have the ability to take things seriously — including her. That’s attractive. Reddit user HystericalPenguin writes about what makes her fall in like: “When he’s passionate about something and invests himself in it. It doesn’t matter what it is.” Even if you’re passionate about something that you’re embarrassed about, there will always be a woman somewhere who admires you for it. Unless it’s stamp collecting. Then you’re done.
-askmen