Revealed: There is no Brazilian hair in Brazil

• Posted on July 4, 2014July 4, 2014
• by Nana Kwesi Coomson
• Comment

‘Off the pitch—what we have observed in Brazil so far’

Last week we brought you the first part of the lighter side of the 2014 FIFA World Cup in Brazil. Unfortunately the Black Stars failed to advance beyond the Group phase of the tournament after defeats to USA and Portugal.

Ghana’s elimination from the tournament, coupled with the allegations and revelations of player indiscipline in Brazil, seem to have dampened the interest of a lot of Ghanaians. However, that has not stopped us from bringing you our cherished reader the concluding part of ‘Off the pitch—what we have observed in Brazil so far.’

1. Hotel prices are cut-throat

Honestly, I don’t know if the cost of hotels were so expensive because of the FIFA World Cup or hotels are just expensive in Brazil. I want to believe it was because of the World Cup. Transportation is expensive in Brazil, but for most of us journalists who went to cover the tournament, hotel bills rank the highest when it comes to services that swallowed a chunk of our budget. The hotel prices in Brazil were far expensive than what I paid during the 2013 Nations Cup in South Africa. The painful part of paying so much for the hotels in Brazil is that honestly they are not as nice and exquisite as the ones in South Africa. A Ghanaian fan I met in Fortaleza for the Ghana-Germany game told me he was paying US$350 per night at his hotel. I cringed. If you are a journalist from this side of the world, you can’t afford that. Even if your media house decides to give you that much for a hotel, I bet you won’t use it all for that purpose, and the reason is obvious. You have to save some cash for yourself.

So how much did I pay for my hotel? It depends on which state you are in. I spent time in three different cities – Natal, Fortaleza and Brasilia – and I paid different rates depending on the kind of hotel available. The prices in Natal were the most affordable by my estimation. It cost me US$80 per night. In Fortaleza, I paid US$150 per night, and in Brasilia I paid UD$100 per night. The good thing about these moderate hotels is the fact that they provide breakfast and give you access to their Wi-Fi services. And for a journalist, getting access to the internet is an essential tool. Most of the hotels are also close to the sea, except the ones in Brasilia. The beach view makes it a nice experience.

2. You can’t spend the US dollar in Brazil

One of the observations in Brazil was the blatant ‘disregard’ for the US dollar and any other foreign currency for that matter. In Brazil, the Reais is the only accepted currency used for any form of purchase or financial transaction. When I say ‘you can’t spend the US dollar in Brazil’ I mean to say the US dollar won’t be accepted by any shop or service provider unless it has been changed into the Brazilian Reais (the official currency of Brazil).

For some of us it was a strange observation because in our part of the world the US dollar and the likes of the British pound sterling are ‘worshipped.’ They are placed in the holy bible to prevent them from getting dirty or crumbling. That is how extreme we worship the US dollar in Ghana and most African countries. Not in Brazil, no one accepts it. You have to change it at the airport or the shopping malls before you can make a purchase. The folks in Brazil reject it so flatly you would think it is an abomination.

Although admirable the way they highly regard their own currency, for some of us it was a nightmare because each time you exchange your dollar for the Reais you have to pay a commission on it. I remember when I got to Sao Paulo I had to take an internal flight to Recife and the cost was UD$600. They won’t accept the USD so I had to exchange some dollars at the airport, by the time I was done I realised I had to pay an additional $100 as commission to the bank that conducted the transaction. Honestly it did hurt me. It did. I nearly cried.

3. Brazilians are not dark people like I imagined

I always had the impression that majority of Brazilians are black in complexion, my bad. They are not. In actual fact the majority of Brazilians are whites with curly hair and all that.

They are warm and nice people. Their ladies are out of this world and I cannot say that enough because I know I mentioned it last week.

If I am not exaggerating, I can say without a doubt that I never saw a black Brazilian during my entire three-week stay in Samba land. I was curious enough to ask one Brazilian who spoke a little English, who told me that indeed there are Brazilians with dark skin but they live mostly in Rio de Janerio, Recife and Sao Paulo. I cannot independently confirm if he was right or wrong. Indeed I cannot even be sure if he understood the question. Funny, right? That is how bad Brazilians are at the English language.

4. The language barrier is comical

Now imagine seeing the most beautiful girl your eyes have ever seen. She smiles at you and gives you every indication that she won’t mind a conversation, yet the two of you speak totally different languages? That is a put off, wouldn’t you say? That was the agony of a lot of Ghanaian football fans and journalists who travelled to watch the 2014 FIFA World Cup.

That did not stop some of the Ghanaians though from getting hooked up with the Brazilian beauties; many tried their luck with the sign language while others had mobile apps that translated English words and sentences into Portuguese and vice versa. That is the extent some went; it is called ‘doing what you got to do to get what you want.’ But for some of us it was too laborious an exercise to go through just to get a conversation started. Simply put, it was a turn off for some of us. If ever you met a Brazilian who spoke just little English, it was such godly relief.

Amidst all the fun that some of the Ghanaians had with these Brazilian ladies, one theme run through. ‘If only the Brazilians spoke English’ was the theme on everyone’s lips. And it is not far from the truth; if only these beauties spoke English, the fun would have been out of hand. Those who found ‘genuine’ love and those who just basked in the one-night stand would have all increased and surely everyone would have enjoyed Brazil even better.

5. There is no Brazilian hair in Brazil

Thanks to our dear ladies in Ghana and Africa in general, we have come to know something called ‘Brazilian hair’ … that expensive weave that no man wants to hear his woman request for. Its name presupposes that it is manufactured in Brazil, so some of us were curious to find out how it is manufactured and why on earth it costs so much. Surprisingly, when we got to Brazil, those who could speak a little bit of English from whom we enquired about the Brazilian weave had no idea what we were talking about. The Brazilians believe it is manufactured in Asia, but they feel proud that people from other countries aspire to have their kind of hair.

6. Shops close when Brazil is playing

Ever heard of the phrase ‘football mad?’ Now that is the best description of the Brazilian people. They are awesomely passionate about their football; so much so that they close their shops when the Brazilian national football team is playing. Surprised? All the shopping malls in Brazil temporarily closes for the duration of the game and it is not as though there are no television sets in the shops, there are, but they refuse to be distracted so they close the shops. Interestingly, the shops are re-opened after the game and its business as usual. That is how passionate the people of Brazil can get when it comes to football.

-the Finder