TGSS Ghana Alumni suggest 6 steps for effective parenting

• Posted on November 25, 2014November 25, 2014
• by Nana Kwesi Coomson
• Comment

Many people were horrified last Friday when a video showing a nanny torturing an innocent toddler made the rounds on social media.

The video is so shocking that several well-meaning people are still asking themselves why a nanny will harm a helpless child. As horrible as this video is, it has revealed one thing – that parenting has become a big challenge in this generation.

Due to factors like changing values, pressures of career, the economy, etc., parenting today is simply not what it used to be. So what can we do about it? Here are six points worth acting on.

1. Planning for parenthood:

Becoming a parent is a project and like every project, careful investigations are needed to identify the time, cost and other resources needed, the threats and risks involved etc for adequate planning and a consequently successful execution of the project. It is thus important for every couple to discuss how much time a child will need from parents, the cost involved in taking care of the child, the roles each parent will play in bringing up the child, and the sacrifices each has to make in order to plan for a successful parenthood.

Parents and would-be parents must have this discussion in order to guarantee the best care and training for their children. Do you have a child or want to have one? Perhaps, now is a good time to discuss parenthood with your partner, if you have not done so already. Do not the let the excitement of childbearing blind you from seeing the responsibilities that come with childrearing. Remember, your children are your future.

2. Training and counselling:

In Ghana, many parents and marriage counsellors train children and couples on how to become good wives and husbands. But does anybody counsel anybody on how to become a good parent? No one is born a wife or husband, and that’s why we have to be taught or learn how to become such. The same way, we need to learn or be taught how to become a parent. The family and religious bodies need to give in-depth training and counselling on parenthood if they are not already doing so.

This will help prepare new couples to face the challenges that come with parenting. Counselling should not just be before the wedding but also after the wedding. The truth is, pre-marital counselling usually takes place when couples are busy planning their weddings and are anxious or excited about tying the knot with the person they love. It is understandable that many couples will not learn a lot in that kind of context.

3. A National Policy:

The family is the foundation of every nation, so a better family will ensure a better a nation. As employment is one of the biggest reasons most parents are failing at parenthood, perhaps it is about time to start a national discourse on instituting appropriate leave days for mothers and fathers. If needed, existing labour laws must be reviewed to give parents enough time to raise their children properly and help build a better nation. For example; the existing law, which gives newly mothers one hour less of the maximum working hours could be reviewed to a day off for 3 months. This is because part if not all of the one hour is spent in traffic.

In this current economic situation, most couples do not have the option of having one partner stay at home without working. Like everything else, there is an opportunity cost associated with either choice – one parent working or both parents working. That is why there is a need for the nation to support a working couple with children to raise. The national policy should not only allow appropriate leave days, but also reintegrate new career mothers who require longer leave periods into the workforce.

Another policy aimed at coordinating, regulating and enforcing all activities of professional nannies should be instituted. In that regard, would be nannies would have acquired the requisite training and certification.

4. Flexible working hours:

Every profit seeking employer wants to maximise employee working hours. This notwithstanding, can employers, who are not giving parents flexible working hours be encouraged to do so? That is an employer reaches an agreement with a parent to work for the required hours, but not necessarily between 8am and 5pm.

Employers can also look at the option of a parent working from home. Parents having flexible working hours or the option of working from home might help them to be successful at parenting. This is because they are likely to have time for their children. The option of flexible working hours does not only benefit parents and children, but also the employer. This is because a happier social life can greatly influence productivity at work.

5. Getting caretakers:

At a point, parents might still require caretakers for their children. The problem is not whether that person is a stranger or relative. The important issue is whether the caretaker you seek for your children loves them and shares the same principles and values with you. The person can be a relative or a close friend, but if the person does not love your children, or does not share your principles and values for parenting, your children will not be raised the way you want. In getting caretakers, couples can consider these;

1. Due diligence: It is very important for a couple to do due diligence when getting a caretaker for their children so know who they are entrusting their children to. Have conversations with the person, perform your background checks on the person to have a very good idea of who you are entrusting your children into their care.
2. Trained Nannies: Couples should seek the services of professional nannies as they would have been trained in caring for children.
3. Spiritual guidance: Couples who are religious may also seek spiritual guidance through prayers when getting a nanny.
4. CCTV Cameras: If you are not 100% certain of your children’s nanny, install CCTV cameras in the house but do well to inform the caretaker. Filming someone without their consent is illegal in most countries. Additionally, informing the caretaker about the CCTV cameras is likely to put them in check and prevent any torturing of the child. What use will the CCTV camera be if your child dies?

6. Opportunities for business (wo)man/government: The current challenges with parenthood also provides a business and employment opportunities. Entrepreneurs and government can cash in by establishing training schools for nannies as well early childhood educational centres. The government should however make sure these training schools and early childhood educational centres meet laid down standards.

Remember you are only person who can raise your children the way you want to. Nannies, caretakers, relatives, friends, teachers and the society might help but it is not their responsibility. Do not make it theirs.

Also remember, children are gifts from God. He trusts you enough to take good care of them. Do not disappoint Him.

Food for thought: Is the extended family support in parenting gradually diminishing in our society?