20 excuses women use to get out of sex

• Posted on December 9, 2014December 9, 2014
• by Nana Kwesi Coomson
• Comment

It’s a long running joke that sex ends after you’ve been married awhile. It’s a notion that’s played up in just about every romantic comedy that hits the screen.

And you know what; it’s not too far from reality. Recently, I ran into a neighbour-pal on Valentine’s Day and she had gotten pink eye (thanks to her four-year-old son).

I grimaced and said: “Sucks to have that on a day like today.”

Her reply: “Are you kidding? This is the best get out of sex excuse I’ve ever had.”

It made me laugh — and wonder what other out-of-the box excuses women use to get out of sex with their husbands and boyfriends.

Here are what they had to say:

1. Didn’t we just have it last week?

2. I can’t have sex when your mother is visiting. It kills the mood.

3. I’ve said that I’m full and don’t feel sexy at all.

4. My friend actually had some sort of condition that made her vagina hurt during sex. She and her boyfriend went without it for a year. When she met another guy, her vagina miraculously started working again.

5. Me: Ugh, I’m just so sore from that gym workout. Everything hurts. Him: I bet your mouth doesn’t hurt …

6. The kids keep getting up and they’ll just disturb us.

7. I haven’t showered.

8. You haven’t showered.

9. Get away from me.

10. I just had my hair done.

11. I’m on my period. Sometimes I use this one twice in a month.

12. I just pick a fight before bedtime.

13. Why don’t we just cuddle? That’s much more romantic.

14. It’s not your birthday!

15. You want sex and I want the dog walked. Do that with any regularity and then we can talk.

16. Have you been drinking? I can smell the alcohol coming out of your pores and it is making me nauseated.

17. I think I have bronchitis or strep or something. If I gave you a blow job, I might infect your penis.

18. I bring up his mom. Kills his mood every time.

19. I just watched the Walking Dead. I can’t have sex after that.

20. And of course, the before mentioned pink eye defence!

-ynaija