Many of us have probably experienced this at one time or another. The fear of failing can be immobilising – it can cause us to do nothing and therefore resist moving forward. But when we allow fear to stop our progress in life, we are likely to miss some great opportunities along the way.
To find the causes of fear of failure, we first need to understand what “failure” actually means.
We all have different definitions of failure, simply because we all have different benchmarks, values, and belief systems. A failure to one person might simply be a great learning experience for another.
Many of us are afraid of failing, at least some of the time. But fear of failure (also called “atychiphobia”) is when we allow that fear to stop us doing the things that can move us forward to achieve our goals.
The fear of failure can be linked to many causes. For instance, having critical or unsupportive parents is a cause for some people. Because they were routinely undermined or humiliated in childhood, they carry those negative feelings into adulthood.
Experiencing a traumatic event at some point in your life can also be a cause. For example, several years ago you gave an important presentation in front of a large group, and you did very poorly.
The experience might have been so terrible that you became afraid of failing in other things. And you carry that fear even now, years later.
Signs of fear of failure
You might experience some of these symptoms if you have a fear of failure:
• A reluctance to try new things or get involved in challenging projects.
• Self-sabotage : Examples are , procrastination, excessive anxiety, or a failure to follow through with goals.
• Low self-esteem or self-confidence : Commonly using negative statements such as “I will never be good enough to get that promotion,” or “I’m not smart enough to get on that team.”
It is almost impossible to go through life without experiencing some kind of failure. People who do so probably live so cautiously that they go nowhere. Put simply, they are not really living at all.
The wonderful thing about failure is that it is entirely up to us to decide how to look at it.
We can choose to see failure as “the end of the world” or as proof of just how inadequate we are. Or, we can look at failure as the incredible learning experience that it often is.
Every time we fail at something, we can choose to look for the lesson we’re meant to learn.
These lessons are very important; they are how we grow, and how we keep from making that same mistake again. Failures stop us only if we let them.
It is easy to find successful people who have experienced failure; Michael Jordan is widely considered to be one of the greatest basketball players of all time. Yet he was cut from his high school basketball team because his coach didn’t think he had enough skill.
Most of us will stumble and fall in life. Doors will get slammed in our faces, and we might make some bad decisions. But imagine if Michael Jordan had given up on his dream to play basketball when he was cut from that team.
Think of the opportunities you will miss if you let your failures stop you.
-mindtools
(Selorm) | 
(Nana Kwesi)