In other words, it would be considered that I have led a full life.

So, I have been asked, why bring it up now, this most unpleasant and dirty subject?

I feel strongly that there is a scandalous acceptance of the sexual molestation of children in our society as part of life. Little girls especially are at risk from grown men. It is not a subject we are willing to talk about.

Recently there have been attempts to tackle the phenomenon, but it is an uphill task. If a child is defiled and some brave person dares to report the matter to the police, the person comes under a lot of pressure from the police to withdraw the case, for it “to be settled at home”.

If you persist in trying to get the molester prosecuted, you run the risk of being ostracised in the family. Thus, very few of these cases ever come to court or are prosecuted successfully.

I fear that there are other seven-year-olds and even three-year-olds who are being subjected to what I experienced so long ago.

 

Outrage at gay people, but not child molesters

I believe that this situation will persist unless we are ready to talk about these matters. There is great reluctance to talk about sex generally unless it is to express outrage at homosexuality.

Ghana church

Many Ghanaians are devout Christians, who believe that homosexuality goes against the Bible

It would appear there is a consensus across the board that Ghanaians don’t want to tolerate LGBTQ people in their society. A Pew Research survey found that just 3% of the population say homosexuality should be accepted, there is a strong resistance to admitting existence of LGBTQ people in our society.

The religious community is united as one and there seems to be a suspicion that sex education in primary schools is not only against our culture and “un-Ghanaian”, but an attempt to introduce homosexuality into our society through the back door.

The country was recently thrown into a veritable mass hysteria when a story emerged that there was an attempt to introduce something called Comprehensive Sexuality Education into the school curriculum. It took a statement from the president disclaiming any intention to introduce any such thing to calm down things.

But it is difficult to raise any such passions about abuse in heterosexual relationships especially where the balance of power is weighted against the female.

If I have helped anyone, I’m humbled

The reaction so far to my story has been overwhelming. Everybody is uncomfortable with the story. It is an uncomfortable story and telling it is uncomfortable and I am not surprised if reading it is uncomfortable.

Some have said I am brave to have gone public with the story. It has taken me 67 years to summon the courage to tell the story and so I’m not sure about the bravery bit.

Some have said it is unfair to pour out such filth into the public space. I have no comment on that.

Many people, mostly women, have thanked me and said it has given them the courage to deal with their own personal demons. I am humbled.

If this will lead to more openness in talking about sexual practices and maybe equip and empower children to deal with abuse, I would go to my grave a happy woman.

Victims of abuse in Ghana can directly reach the Ministry of Gender, Children and Social Protection (MoGCSP) through toll-free numbers 0800 800 800 and 0800 900 900. Text messages can be sent on a free short code 8020 on all mobile networks.