Ladies: 5 guys never to even think of dating

• Posted on August 22, 2014August 23, 2014
• by Nana Kwesi Coomson
• Comment

Are you noticing a pattern in your love life (or lack thereof)? Are your relationships short term and/or insignificant? If so, you’re dating the wrong guys! It’s time to buckle down and take responsibility for your poor decision, before it’s too late! Here are the top five guys you should never date (no matter how good looking they are).

1.THE PERPETUAL BACHELOR If you haven’t dated this guy yet, hang in there, he’ll find you. In my opinion, a perpetual bachelor can be best described as a “dog in heat.” Why? Well, much like a non-committal man, a dog will “sniff” around until he finds what he wants. He will leave his “mark.” and before you know it, he’s on the other side of the park checking out his next “bitch” (ahem, meaning female dog, of course). Don’t get me wrong, not all bachelors are these types of dogs, some are cute and cuddly! However, you should always remember to proceed with caution…some may bite!

You might as well throw in the towel now, since you’ll never compare to his “perfect mother.” In fact, that towel you just threw? His mom is picking it up as we speak. Why? Because his mother is still washing his darn laundry! Listen, if you find your beau having trouble using a coin operated laundry machine over the age of 20, you can pretty much guarantee he’s a mama’s boy. Do yourself a favor and get out before he starts asking you to cook him dinner. Believe me, you won’t make it past the appetizer.

3. THE COUCH POTATO Yawn! If you ask me, this type of guy is pretty much useless. He brings nothing to the table and asks for everything in return. What kind relationship is that? Let me answer that for you…it’s NOT! This guy is good for maybe two things: your hangovers and rainy days. Why? Because you’re guaranteed a LAZY night of Netflix and takeout. So, unless you want to gain 10 pounds and lose all motivation, I would suggest dropping the “spud” and start looking for a stud.

4. THE ANGRY DRUNK Everyone loves this guy. Me especially. Why wouldn’t I? It’s pretty entertaining when you’re observing from afar. But as funny as he may be for bystanders, it’s a miserable and ANNOYING situation for those involved in a relationship with him. Here’s the typical scene: OBNOXIOUS guy drenched in booze barks at everyone and anyone who doesn’t root for the Yankees OR anyone that may glance in his direction (because they’re obviously checking out his girl). Tip: Tell him you’re a Mets fan and keep it moving.

5. THE PRETTY BOY Does your beau have more than one mirror in his bedroom? Does he take selfies just to see how he looks? Or does he, perhaps, leave in the middle of dinner to check out his hairline? If any of this sounds familiar, you have a pretty boy on your hands. Unless you’re prepared to share your moisturizer and cherry lip balm, I would consider leaving before your beauty products go missing…come on, that stuff is expensive!

-guestofaguest