10 Mistakes Women Make in a Relationship

• Posted on June 7, 2013June 7, 2013
• by Nana Kwesi Coomson
• Comment

Relationships can be tough, am I right? You’re trying to compromise, but you don’t want to lose yourself in the bigger picture, so mistakes on both parts are pretty common. Here are the top 10 mistakes women make!

1. Leaching on

Clinginess, neediness and leaching on to your partner are the ultimate no-no’s that can rip at a relationship to the point of no return. No one wants a person who needs constant affirmation, attention, and insight into every single little thing we do.

If you were on the receiving end of all that clinginess you’d probably feel suffocated too. But, sometimes, cause of our previous letdowns, or just the sheer amount of attraction for the guy we can get a little bit carried away in wanting to have him all for ourselves.

If you’re guilty of this, better snap back soon, or it’s a bye-bye relationship!

2. Being Over Possessive

Over possessive as in turning into an inquisitor every time he goes somewhere without you, being overly controlling, jealous, possibly dabbling in a couple on spy missions involving his Facebook account, E-mail and phone, demanding he focuses more on you than on his job/friends… If you can’t see this is not healthy behavior then we’re fighting an already lost battle here.

Trust is the most important thing, if there isn’t any there’s a high chance you might stray into all of the actions listed above.

3. Constant Bitching

Yeah, that’s right, it’s exactly what it is – bitching. Constant nagging about every single little thing you feel he’s done wrong can really put a damp on a relationship, don’t you think?

Sure he’s probably doing some annoying things, but cut him some slack. He’s a mere human, for God sakes. Actually, cut yourself some slack – why do you always have to correct the wrong doings? Relax a little bit before your complaints put a real strain on your relationship.

It’s okay to sometimes just put the toilet seat down yourself, I seriously don’t even get what that whole fuss is all about.

4. Passive Aggression

Admit it, we’re all guilty of this.

– Honey is something wrong?
– No.
– Really you seem kind of upset?
– It’s nothing.

And then if he’s like ‘ok…’ you get even more upset ’cause he doesn’t get it, and if he keeps on pressuring you into telling him what’s up you get even more upset ’cause you want to be left alone or something. There’s just no way for him to win this.

So if you don’t communicate your problems and issues what you’re really doing is bottling up your anger and at some point you’re gonna lose it.

And it won’t be pretty.

Now, I’m not saying you should complain about every little thing, but as for the big things don’t wait for him to read your mind and just know what’s wrong – you’ll have to tell him.

5. Not Putting out for Your Man

Don’t play the headache card. It’s just such a bad excuse.

Yes, sure, no one’s in the mood all the time, and as the relationship gets older it can sometimes happen that the sex gets showed at the end of your priority list. With jobs, and other obligations and responsibilities, maybe sometimes you’re tired, other times you just don’t have the time. But keeping your sex life alive and kicking is very important – if you let it die out it’s not gonna spell good for your relationship.

6. Trying to Change Him

I’ve recently heard someone say something like ‘a woman who marries a man hoping to change him, than 30 years from then after she’s succeeded in her intention she’ll look at him and say – you’re not a man I married’.

Does that hit the nail on the head or what? I mean, if you want him to change why are you with him in the first place?!

7. Unrealistic Expectations

You know what? I actually blame Hollywood for this one. What all those romantic comedies taught us is that when love happens it’ll be this knock-you-of-your-feet-nothing-else-matters-you-instantly-know-it’s-for-life feeling which isn’t really always the case.

In those movies all obstacles are resolved by some out-of-this world gesture and it always works of course. But real life’s a bit different, isn’t it? There will be hardship, and there will be times you’ll feel like giving up and there will be things you’ll need to just make peace with in order to make it all work.

Don’t expect a fairytale, be real and be ready to work on your relationship to make it work!

8. Lacking Trust

I’ve said it before and I stand behind it – no trust, no relationship. It’s just the way things are. And if that trust’s been chipped it’s very hard to fully get it back. If your man betrayed your trust in the past, or you’re just having a hard time being trustful with anybody, no matter their track record, that is something you’ll need to concern before you’ll be able to make a relationship work.

9. Getting too Comfortable

Getting too comfortable is a mistake many men and women are making in relationships, and it’s a real big romance killer.

You know those couples that don’t close the bathroom door when they go in to do their business? They might think that being THAT comfortable is great and relieving, but the fact is it’s just plain too much. It kills all the romance – there are just some things you don’t have to share with anyone.

Also, on this note, don’t we all know those women who are in long relationships and who’ve totally stopped taking care of themselves?

It’s like – they’re so completely sure their partner’s gonna love them no matter what so they go around looking like a complete mess. Not to imply it’s all about looks here (hint: it’s not), but really? Were you only getting dressed up and clean to get a guy, and now that you’ve got him you feel your work is done? Come on.

10. Forsaking all Else

If your entire life begins to revolve around your relationship – especially if this happens early on in the relationship – you might be headed for trouble. People who get so consumed with their relationships, and make the mistakes of completely turning their backs on friends, hobbies, and even their jobs, quickly learn the precautions of this putting all their eggs in one basket so to speak.

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