You may have fallen for a man who likes to see things his way. And while you can’t get rid of his stubborn streak, you might be able to gently prod him in a kinder direction for the sake of your relationship.
You can stay together, remain happy and stay true to yourself, even if you’re dating a guy who sometimes can get a little hard to handle.
Decide on the type of relationship you’d like to have with the man you’re dating, and make sure to not settle for less than that even if he’s being difficult. This includes clarifying your stance on sex – how long you want to wait and what it means to you.
• Influence by action.: Behave in the way that you feel is appropriate. If he sees you acting a certain way, and sees that you’re getting positive results, he may be influenced to follow suit.
• Communicate with him clearly.: Stubborn people have a difficult time seeing anything other than their own way, and you won’t be able to break through that wall unless you’re straightforward.
The only chance you have of reaching him is to not play games or deliver confusing communication. Instead, explain exactly how you feel and why you feel that particular way.
• Resist the urge to analyze him.: There could be endless reasons for his stubbornness, but unless you’re his therapist, all you’re responsible for is being his girlfriend. If you overanalyze him and make assumptions, you could do more harm than good.
Also, you run the risk of excusing bad behaviour because you think you know the underlying cause, when in reality, you should be treated well by your significant other.
• Go head-to-head with him.: This does not mean you should purposefully seek out an argument just so you can prove that you can hold your own in the face of resistance.
But if a conversation or argument comes up, stick to your opinions just as strongly as he sticks to his. Just make sure it’s a fight worth having — you still have to pick your battles, as in any healthy relationship.
Apologise for the times when you’re in the wrong. When you’re dating a stubborn man, it can be easy to get used to the fact that he always thinks he’s right.
However, at times he will actually be right. Be accountable for your own actions and your own mistakes.
-BLINDSAY PIETROLUONGO